We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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