Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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