I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just forgot I was standing up.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I had to cum in my sink.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
