Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
