Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
