hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dignity is for republicans.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
