Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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