just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You ate ashes out of my bong
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
