i already hear my dad disowning me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
