That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
