How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
