You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
