just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
