hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
