On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
