So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
