even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
