Can Purell be used as lube?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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