i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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