the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
