Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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