My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
