im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
