like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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