thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
