i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
