its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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