Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
People in love make me want to vomit
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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