just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
