Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
