life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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