I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
