I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
