Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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