and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
