is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
