Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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