there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
