i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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