They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
