I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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