first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
