I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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