Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
