It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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