And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
