3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
