She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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