There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
