it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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